veg I’ve been thinking a lot about calories recently. “Haven’t we all?” you might be thinking – even the fittest and  healthiest people spend precious time thinking about their calorific intake, how can you blame them when we live in a society that is constantly screaming about ZERO calories in this, no added sugar in that, fat free, carb free and all the rest until our brain is a mess of jumbled messages and advertising spiel? If you follow my health channel you’ll know about my well-documented journey to being healthier and my struggles with weight gain that came with a PCOS diagnosis. Honestly, I eat really really well. I don’t remember the last time I went out and bought a bag of crisps or a chocolate bar, alcohol is something that happens once every two months if that, I don’t eat white bread (or bread at all for that matter usually!) white pasta, white potatoes or refined sugar. I make 99% of my food myself from scratch and I swap rice for quinoa, bread for wholegrain wraps and potato wedges for their lower-GI sweet cousins. But I’m not losing weight like I’d like to, and by “like I’d like to” I mean not at all.

I’ve been really open with my PCOS struggles and how it’s affected me, but I feel like now is crunch time in a lot of ways. People with PCOS (and I mean this in the kindest possible way) can often use it as an excuse – “oh I don’t lose weight easily” “my insulin resistance means I look at a carb and gain weight!” and “it’s just not FAIR” and yes, they’re right, it isn’t fair. We have to work out twice as hard as others, worry about the healthy carbs – even fruit, and the cruel irony is that PCOS makes it hard to lose weight but the cure is often weight loss. It’s hard sometimes to know that if I lost 20lb my PCOS would start to correct itself but the PCOS itself makes that very weight loss difficult. It’s a shit, it really is, but it’s not the end of the world and it isn’t impossible.

I’ve gained weight since I moved to London, mainly because a lot of my meetings take place in restaurants, but also because I moved in with a boy (we all know how that is) and well, boys like to eat and can more or less get away with it. I can’t. Since I realised how much weight I’d put on I’ve been working to stop it, and I’ll lose a pound or three and then nothing. I’m no nutritionist but since my diagnosis with PCOS almost seven years ago I’ve done a lot of reading and educated myself about food, but to be honest it’s not like I come from a family of processed food lovers that don’t cook. I was raised on homemade meals and I’ve been veggie since I was about 11 so I know my tofu from my seitan and the importance of healthy proteins and grains. So why am I not losing weight? It would be easy (and believe me I have days when I feel like this) to sit back and blame the PCOS, and yes, it is to blame, but let me give you (a rather dramatic, granted) analogy. If someone framed you for murder and put you in prison (I told you it was dramatic!) you would blame them yes, but would you sit back in your cell and let the days roll on? No, you’d fight your way out of there no matter what it took. That’s how I feel about PCOS. Some people fight their way out of that cell, or at least try to, and some people just feel angry and blame it.

So what has this got to do with calories? Well, since I eat a good diet, don’t eat things that suck for me and I’m not an idiot when it comes to looking after myself, I have to start looking at what I’m eating and be honest with myself. I might be eating great stuff but how much of that great stuff am I eating? Portion control can be a bitch, and I hate it in all honesty. When I’m in the kitchen I like to throw things into the pan and enjoy the cooking process, not meticulously weigh things and look up their calorie content, but hey, I need to get out of that cell and I have to do what it takes. You have to be really honest with yourself, not round things up or guess, and use a reliable tracker. I love the Myfitnesspal app, it’s free and it’s great, especially because it has a barcode function. Not all cheeses, smoothies or even wraps are made equally, so scanning the barcode to find out exactly what’s in YOUR greek yoghurt as opposed to another brand makes it super accurate. It might only be 20 calories here and there but when you think of everything you put in your mouth throughout the day? It adds up. It’s also great in terms of exercise, and that’s another thing I need to be really honest about. How often have I been pushing myself, and I mean really pushing myself? Probably more than enough for a regular person but again, I’m stuck in that cell and regular isn’t going to cut it.

When I made my #eatcleanmarch video it didn’t signal much of a change for me personally in terms of what I’m eating. I already eat a very clean diet, I was excited to make it completely clean and share the experience and recipes with you guys, but it made me think, about calories, about exercise and about what more I could do. I still think eating clean is the most important change you can make. No matter what anyone says, 1400 calories a day of processed ready meals is not the same as 1400 calories of homecooked healthy food. Your body won’t do the same thing with it and you won’t feel the same way. But if you’ve been eating well, and feeling like you just can’t catch a break, maybe it’s time to be really honest with yourself, PCOS or no PCOS. There are divided camps with calories – people that count too much (and I firmly believe our society leads us to near-obsession) and people who don’t count at all “I just eat well and don’t go crazy” (to which I say you lucky SOD!)

The truth is like most things in life, the middle ground is where I want to be. I’ll never let it take over my life and worry about the numbers to the point of obsession (and you shouldn’t either) but I have to make myself aware of it, and bear it in mind. Especially if I’m stuck in that cell…

For more health related ramblings and recipes don’t forget to subscribe to my health channel here.

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  • Emily

    Talk about great timing! I’ve been really down on myself lately because I have PCOS, and it’s so frustrating. The vicious cycle of trying to be healthy yet gaining weight or just not losing any is something I can definitely relate to. Finding a balance that works is so hard.This post was really encouraging to me. Thank you for your honesty!

    • gemsmaquillage

      I’m so glad you liked this post! Good luck trying to kick the PCOS, it’s a bitch! You can do it!

  • Amber

    I’d seriously LOVE to see what your weekly food diary looks like!
    I always think that I’m eating healthily but I’m probably really not. :/

    Amber xo

  • Amy

    You are depressingly healthy! I want an oreo, wahhh!

    Amy| The Little Koala Blog ♥

    • gemsmaquillage


  • Emily

    Great post Gemma, and it’s so true. (Ignoring PCOS for a minute) there are so many people out there who eat really healthily and wonder why there not losing weight but sadly it is all down to portion control. And thats why someone can eat utter rubbish but in small quantities and lose a shed load – but they won’t be healthy. It’s all about balance I guess!
    I calorie count probably a bit too much and I’m guilty of putting the focus more on calories than on nutritional value – it’s something I’m trying to improve on. I use a calorie counting website called Weightloss Resources – you do pay subscription but I find it a lot better than myfitnesspal.
    Good luck!

    • gemsmaquillage

      Definitely! It’s all about finding the right balance – not letting it rule your life but knowing what kind of portions are correct and then making the right choices. I definitely think calories are important, even just in an “energy in/energy out” way – and then on top of that making sure you get the best calories you possibly can. I will check out Weightloss Resources! x

  • Sara

    This post meant a lot for me to read. Unlike you, I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was just 12 years old, and have been struggling with weight ever since. I was ‘ok’ until I went to uni, but not being able to drink or go for meals with people basically lead to me saying ‘fuck it’ and basically went against everything I knew and ate and drank what I want, and now I’m pay for it quite badly as I put on 3 stone in less than 2 years, and trying to lose it again is near impossible on a restricted budget and student lifestyle, even going to the gym 4 times a week.

    Would you ever consider keeping a food diary and publishing it / sending it to me. I’d love to know what’s helped you, and the smoothie recipes you use. Possibly email me if you get chance, if you even see this comment, it’d mean a lot.


    • gemsmaquillage

      Hi Sara,

      I’m sorry to hear you’ve struggled with PCOS too. I share most of my meals on instagram/twitter apart from things like breakfast which is usually the same, so you can get a lot of ideas there, and I do cooking videos on my health channel as well as videos talking about health in general. I know it might seem hard if you’re working on a budget, but I promise you can do it! The freezer is your best friend – buy all your fruits and veggies frozen and make big batches of soups and meals to freeze – you will actually save money in the long run you just have to be thrifty! x

  • Jessie Holmes Springer

    I have been following a paleo diet for about a month now, and it makes a huge difference! Have you thought about trying that? I honestly can’t say anything about PCOS, but I can tell you that I don’t count calories at all – I just focus on eating when I’m actually hungry and listening to what my body needs. It’s not easy to completely cut out grains at first, but it’s become a lifestyle and I really don’t crave sweets and bread anymore! I imagine that eating paleo could definitely be a struggle if your room mate has completely different eating habits, but it’s definitely worth a try! Also, you should try reading “The Maker’s Diet”! It’s totally changed my view on food! This is just what’s worked for me! :) I love hearing about other people’s takes on nutrition and health in general, so thank you for sharing!

    PS: I just discovered your blog and absolutely love it!


    • gemsmaquillage

      To be honest I already incorporate a lot of paleo thinking into my diet – the only grains I consume are whole oats and quinoa which isn’t actually a grain at all, occasionally bulgar but once in a blue moon. I don’t eat bread or rice and limit wraps and flour to a once a week treat if that, I have a lot of nuts and seeds a high quantities of plant-based foods. I’m veggie so the meat/fish/seafood aspect of paleo doesn’t really work for me but other than that I have quite a lot of the principles in my diet. The lifestyle plan I go by is the Tone It Up one, their nutrition plan is absolutely amazing and full of info. Sadly I just have to keep slogging away and hopefully make some headway with the PCOS :(

  • Maddy Cane

    I think it is really great that you are eating healthy, but I don’t think that calorie counting is a good idea, ever. Just eat until you are satisfied and that will be enough, don’t obsess x

    • gemsmaquillage

      I have to disagree. I’ve been eating healthy for years and not “overeating” as in stuffing my face, but it’s clearly not enough if you have a medical concern or have a lot of weight to lose. The healthy eating isn’t something that is recent for me, it’s been a way of life for a long time but my health and weight problems are still present. Portion control is a huge aspect of healthy living or weight loss and counting calories helps to keep those portions in check.

      Like I mentioned in the post, I strongly disagree with letting calories rule your life or being obsessive in any way about it, but you do have to bear them in mind if you have a weight problem, the answer isn’t just to never ever count calories and neither extreme end of the spectrum is good. You have to find a middle ground where you are mindful and aware yet not obsessed. I know you meant well, but honestly as someone who has suffered with their weight for medical reasons for most of my adult life whilst still eating healthily and stopping when I’m satisfied, it is very hard to know how that feels if you haven’t been there. Having PCOS and eating ‘healthy’ or just ‘until you’re satisfied’ isn’t really enough. I wish it was, but you have to take on board other aspects of nutrition as well.

  • Faye

    Wow Gemma, I had no idea how difficult things are for people with PCOS and I really feel for you. It takes a lot of will power to eat how you eat anyway. I always try and eat clean but you’re right living with a boy really doesn’t help (especially a boy that is trying to gain weight).

    I find it so hard to lose weight but counting calories just doesn’t fail. And you’re right you don’t want it to take over you life but when it improves your quality of life (and more so you with your PCOS symptoms) I just think why would you not! Buying electric scales was the best thing I ever did. Its so easy to look at things and go hmm 100g or hmm 100ml but really its way over! And not just that but strictly calorie counting will ensure you don’t under eat too which can happen so easily when dieting. I love my fitness pal too because I like to make sure I’m having enough vitamins etc as well.

    Good luck with your fight Gemma and I’ll look forward to more posts/videos :)

    • gemsmaquillage

      Luckily although Matt likes his food and doesn’t have as many issues with it that I do, he has been really supportive. We both gained weight when we moved in together even though it was more me than him, but he can see that and so he’s doing this with me (he even did the 30 day shred yesterday haha) and I’m definitely with you on the electronic scales. I know a lot of people bash calorie counting but I always find they are the people who haven’t struggled with their weight before! PCOS is definitely a bitch and it’s taken way more control of my life than it should have, but I’m really trying to think positively instead of sitting back and thinking that’s just the way it is!

  • darling d

    I have PCOS and while I have never been overweight, the weight had been creeping up on me and at the end of 2011 after multiple times of trying to “diet” and the weight not budging I did the low carb thing. I still ate fruit and veggies but went high protein and the weight just melted off – I ended up losing too much weight! I did monitor my calorie intake and I found it easy to stick in the right range because lean protein isn’t high in calories. I know how frustrating it is to not be able to lose weight, and even now as I am trying to lose a couple of kilos I’ve gained I’m struggling.

    • gemsmaquillage

      I’m so glad you said that! In general I’m not the biggest fan of carb-cutting entirely because we definitely need them, but yesterday I didn’t have any at all and lost almost 3lb just from that. I think for normal people the carbs are okay but for PCOS it can just be a no-no. I’m so glad you commented because today I’ve stuck to it again and even though I want some sweet potato mash tonight I’m replacing it with carrot and cauliflower mash and I will keep you in my head whilst I eat it! I wish more veggie protein sources were leaner but hopefully as long as I keep my eye on the portions eggs and lentils/beans won’t be an issue. x

    • darling d

      I’m so glad my post helped! It really did work for me but consistency is the key. I was really meticulous with it for about 3-4 months and lost about 11 kilos! It did get very boring though and I wish I could force myself to go back to it. I love my carbs even though I don’t think they love me so much. haha

      Gemma, do you drink coffee? I’ve been trying to quit myself since I have read quite a bit on how its really bad for PCOS sufferers and can make our symptoms worse.

  • victoria

    Really interesting post, I have just been diagnosed with PCOS after thinking I may have had it for a few years.
    I have put on about 3 stones in the last 3 years or so, and can not shift it at all, my fiancé can lose a stone in 2 weeks if he tries, I can only manage to lose 2-4lbs and it all goes back on.
    I will definitely be following your healthy eating posts.

  • Johanna

    Hej, really good post, thank you! I agree with so many things in this, most of all that society is making us obsessed. Obviously we can’t just blame society for this, but it’s really difficult to escape it. I’m one of those lucky people (touch wood) that doesn’t really put weight on quickly when I eat badly, but instead of just taking it easy I still catch myself always roughly adding up what I’ve had, when it’d be so much easier to just enjoy myself and focus on eating well and healthily.
    And as for other comments, I really think it really is possible to eat well on a budget! Lentils and things like that are super healthy and really stretch out. Even if you get organic lentils at wholefoods or something, 500g are like 2 Pounds. One portion is approximately 40-50g, so that 500g, i.e. 2 Pounds can really get you pretty far! And it’s great to replace expensive (and not necessarily healthy) things like mincemeat in a bolognese.
    Anyway I think I’ve rambled on enough. Please keep writing and vloging about food, they’re my favourite type of post :)

  • Lauren Cope


    This is a lovely blog post, and it’s nice to hear the other side of the ‘calorie counting’ debate – I’ve never really thought positively of it. I dont suffer with PCOS but I’ve been trying to lose weight and although I’m eating healthier I’m struggling to notice any difference. Downloading the app you suggested has to be done I think! Thanks for another lovely post – I absolutely copied your curried quinoa post I saw on instagram and had it for dinner tonight. It was SO good I posted about it on my blog haha – thank you for the tip!

    I was just wondering (if you get the time to reply) whether you can recommend any sellers or chains that sell really good, unique health food? In Norwich, where I’m from, it’s quite limited, and somewhere online would be great.

    Thanks so much!

    Lauren xxx

  • sterndli98

    I really understand your struggels with loosing weight. I have the same problem.

  • Alice

    I too also have pcos and was diagnosed when i was 14, and then 3 years later i developed an under active thyroid, which means it was ridiculously hard for me to loose weight, as essentially i had a metabolism that was in the negative. This last year I’ve lost a lot of weight and it was mostly down to calorie control, and a very low carb diet. Whilst i feel it’s important to not get obsessive over these things, I think sometimes they get an unnecessary bad rep. We don’t need as many carbs or at least processed carbs as we tend to think we do, and the same with calories, many people are surprised as how little calories they need if they don’t lead a really active lifestyle. My pcos is now so much better and my energy levels have increased dramatically, this was a really interesting post! good luck! x

  • Alex

    Hey Gemma, I hope you’re doing well despite this annoying journey you’re going through with PCOS. I hope you can solve your problem with not being able to lose weight soon, but if not hopefully someday in the future I’ll be able to help you out. I’m a senior in college and plan on pursuing a career in nutrition after going to grad school. Once I learn about PCOS or anything similar to it I’d be happy to help you out and share the information I learn. You’re one of my favorite gurus so it wouldn’t bother me at all. I wish you all the best, and hopefully it won’t take that long to fix this. <3

  • kokoreece

    great post gem! having dealt with pcos for years myself, we are always trying to find the right balance to ‘balance’ ourselves to be able to shift any weight we may have… i totally agree with the calorie counting (not so it takes over your life!) but so you can track what exactly you are eating and making sure you are not overdoing the daily calorie intake.

  • Kimberley

    I really agree Gemma! I have trouble with losing weight, but never have trouble with maintaining. It’s all a numbers game, really, and I have had trouble balancing things too so I don’t become obsessive or too lazy. For some, this comes easily, for others it doesn’t. But it makes all the difference that you’re trying! Keep it up, you are an inspiration!


  • Katie

    I really enjoyed your post, your clearly well read, accepting of your condition and I think you have what would appear to be a very nicely balanced diet.
    I lost nearly 4 stone about 4/5 years ago and my life style has changed to reflect that and I continue to maintain a healthy weight.
    I think some people spend too much time looking at calories over nutrition and don’t understand the importance of taking in enough calories for your lifestyle. Plus so many people don’t realise that a calorie is a measure of energy and your body is like a car that needs fuelling accordingly.
    Have you considered some light exercise? It burns energy, helps with body shaping (so even if you weigh the same a toned body has looser jeans) and there is definitely a sport for everyone…It should be like food: fun, creative and make you feel good. Good luck with your journey! xo

  • Anna

    Hi Gemma, interesting post. I wonder if you’ve looked at the 5:2 or Fast Diet (except it’s not a diet). It’s not nearly as difficult as it might seem and has the huge advantage of meaning on the 5 days you don’t have to watch too carefully what you’re eating although you’ll probably find like many people do that you kind of get a reset and don’t end up over-eating on non-fast days. I’m the sort of person who couldn’t imagine getting past 10am without breakfast and now (6 weeks in) I can get to 6pm without having eaten anything at all.

  • Benny

    Hi:)I’m going thru some health issues and made a lot of diet search…..and i had enough of all fad diets!GIRLS THERE’s ONLY ONE GOOD DIET…DON”T DIET!Just JERF(just eat real food …as Sean Croxton says)and follow a new healthy lifestyle with the PALEO (DIET)!

  • Taylor

    Gemma, this was like reading my own biography!!

    I completely understand all your frustrations. I have always been a pretty good eater, though nowhere near as good as yourself. I’ve always been overweight though and wasn’t particularly active, in spite of the fact that I played hockey through highschool, and still do.

    I wasn’t diagnosed with PCOS until late last year, although I’ve been convinced for years that I had it, despite the disinterest of many GPs.

    When I got back from my semester abroad (in Manchester!) in the middle of last year, I decided I needed to get serious about my weight. I was sadly yet another victim of the Heathrow Injection haha. Just like every other PCOS sufferer, gaining weight happens in the blink of an eye but losing it feels near impossible.

    Since September though I’ve lost 10 kgs. I started seriously counting my calories with the My Fitness Pal ap, started with a PT once a week, with 5 sessions of my own. While I definitely feel better for the exercise, and the 5km walks (now sometimes jogs) I do in the mornings are so good for kick starting my metabolism (which also helps with all that insulin resistance craziness), I think my diet changes made the biggest difference. I started having smaller meals on a regular basis. I struggle with this big time, mostly because I am a HUGE breakfast fiend haha. I basically cut my brekkies in half (I was having way too much) and make sure I have a snack mid morning and then mid arvo, a few hours after lunch. I hate feeling like I’m eating all the time but it really is better for PCOS, considering the way our bodies a geared towards the storing engergy instead of using it. Obviously I do all the other good things too – no sugar, limited carbs and none at night usually, lots of veggies, limited amount of fruit, avoiding processed anything (not hard for me as I’ve always gravitated towards fresh foods, and specifically never been huge on junk food) I find it hard to be consistent with this side of things with weird work and uni schedules. I think that’s why I haven’t lost anything the last couple of weeks as I’m still adjusting to a new and ridiculous uni timetable (uni has just started here in Oz).

    I hate calorie counting with a passion, but for me, at this stage, it is still a necessary evil. I don’t trust myself without it and I still have another 10kgs to lose. I know that consistency is the key. With the winning combination of being a woman AND having PCOS weight loss is pretty much guaranteed to be all over the place. I can lose anything from 2.5kg a week to 100gms but at least I’m getting there.

    Basically, the point of this comment is say ‘I know your pain’ and ‘I promise you will get there’. Sorry for the epic ramble but I love having someone to talk to who understands how hard this all is. All of my friends are on health kicks at the moment but talking to them isn’t same as there is no way they can understand completely.

  • Jade

    I’ve got to be honest and say that I do, indeed, calorie count. I have been on countless diets & healthy eating plans but still I remain very overweight which of course leads to all sorts of things.
    I’ve been working out a lot and just recently I kicked all of my diet/healthy eating plans out of the water and just stopped for a minute. Now, I simply count my calories (or near enough) and make sure I don’t over eat or don’t under eat and I’ve found I actually have been shifting the pounds. Yes it’s a slow and steady process but some progress all goes in the right direction!
    I’ve also recently been diagnosed with PCOS, it’s a pain in the ass.
    Good luck with losing weight Gemma (I think you’re beautiful as you are, but I know that sometimes isn’t what people want to hear). I wish you all the best,

  • Sandra

    Hi Gemma, I really enjoyed reading your post! I used to struggle with weight loss too and completely feel your pain. And it’s super motivating to read how you just won’t give up even though your PCOS makes it so hard! I used to get really frustrated whenever I started to consciously try and lose weight because it would get to a point where I would think about food a bit too much and then, of course, I’d end up wanting food. I went off the pill and find that has made a massive difference (in terms of my body, I didn’t really have that much to lose, to be honest) but I also know that this is a different issue for you due to the PCOS. I took Yasmin, by the way, which promises you won’t gain weight, possibly even lose some. All a bunch of BS if you ask me.
    Anyway, what really did it for me, I think, is when I shifted my focus from food to exercise and set myself fitness goals instead of rules for how much and which foods I should eat. When I am active, my body starts craving healthy foods and, since my blood sugar has become a lot more stable, I don’t get hunger pangs any more, meaning, I eat less than before. I started running and I can’t believe how fast that made a difference to my body. I didn’t like it that much in the beginning but now, over a year in, I love it! And I got a lot more relaxed about gaining a couple of pounds every once in a while because I know, if I go on a run, it will all be gone again in a week or two. I feel a lot more at home in my body and running is something I’ll be able to keep up. It’s almost free (you just need shoes, really, I don’t look too hot in my running outfits) and I can do it anywhere!
    I hope you’ll soon find something that works for you and makes you happier!

  • Clarissa

    What Gemma talks about here is 100% correct. At some point just eating clean won’t get you the results you need. The honest truth is that in order to lose weight you need to be in a calorie deficit. Don’t let that scare you, I do not mean eat 900 calories a day, but in order to lose 1lb of fat/wk you need to be in a caloric deficit of 3,500 for that week. All that means is reducing your calories by 500 each day. But, and pay attention now…you should NEVER go below 1,200 calories/day. I have a good article on my website on how to exactly calculate the amount of calories you personally need to lose weight.

  • Lucy

    I don’t have PCOS but completely relate to your weight struggles. I feel like I eat fairly well (not as well as you!) and exercise but never ever seem to lose any weight. Everyone I see in London always seems to be so skinny and it is easy to forget that there are other people feeling the same way! Best of luck :)

  • Becky

    so proud but slightly jealous of your dedication! really nice topic to see someone talking about! this kind of stuff is always so much easier said than done though! xx

  • Michelle

    Thanks for mentioning the MyfitnessPal app. I generally count calories the old fashioned way, and I would love something that will make it easier. A great way I found to get around these weight loss plateaus is to cycle the calories. When you eat low calories for a while your body gets used to it. Go one day eating normally and then cycle 3 days at 20-30% of maintance, and then jump a couple days back to maintenance levels.

  • Annie

    I have to admit, I’ve always had the kind of blase attitude of oh well it’ll be fine if you’re just sensible, but your article has been really interesting to read and I feel a bit silly about being so quick to make up my mind without really having looking into situation like yours (which probably affect a lot of people really). So thanks for your article, sounds like your goal of taking both calorie amount and what’s in the food into account is a good way of doing things. All the luck to you and hats off to your dedication!

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